soliloquy

2009-10-11T03:45:00.002+08:00

my apprehensiveness sets in when your gaze meets mine.
so please don't look me in the eyes, lest i yield in to your charming smile.

2009-09-18T22:46:00.001+08:00

twitter.com/chrysolistic -.-

how noob is twitter.

2009-08-11T00:46:00.002+08:00

no star can shine with a broken heart. -yvaine-

2009-07-22T01:35:00.003+08:00

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (summer 1881~ june 1997)

2009-06-24T19:39:00.003+08:00

today marks the first pissed off day at work. im usually quite hard to be pissed off and today's incident speaks volume of the sheer ridiculousness of this china woman. anyone close to me will know of my great biasness towards chinese women. and the fact that till now i haven met a decent chinese woman is so telling of their nature. GRRRR. can i proclaim once and for all that i totally h8 chinese. chinese from china. men and women. GRRRRRRRRR.

2009-06-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

whee~ converse light for me! mine's in grey though. i figured dr. martens is way too much for casual wear here in sg and it's a tad bit bulky for my liking. converse light sneakers is just nice with its low cut top. hahahahhahahah. sooo happy now. im this easily contented it frightens me much. anyhow i hope this coming week will be a pleasant one.... :) to everyone...

2009-06-13T02:47:00.001+08:00

hard and cold. reality hurts.

2009-06-04T22:42:00.002+08:00

hmm come to think of it, ive been writing rather cryptically in this space. maybe cause ive yet to uncover my veil. but i will eventually. or so i thought i did.

results were out today. and i could have been freed on this day. but im still on shackles. for at least a few months more. so till then, to true freedom!

2009-05-22T22:41:00.000+08:00

may the best mushrooms sprout!

2009-05-18T22:29:00.002+08:00

i think i know what kind of ppl i like best. sincere, honest yet with a certain sinistral aura. hmm..contradictory but fun :)

2009-05-16T14:32:00.007+08:00

it's the weekends!!! now i know why everyone's looking forward to weekends. hoho.
recently ive set my eyes on..........................................DR MARTENS BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but my mom thinks it's terribly ugly. and was thinking what occassion would be suitable to wear this. it would be hard not to attract stares from people walking around sg with these boots. sigh..if only this isnt singapore.. =/

2009-05-10T01:03:00.002+08:00

sometimes if i dont talk to ppl means im really not motivated to think about stuff to talk about. no, not being unfriendly. just not accustomed to talking nonsense. which is why i quite like ppl who talk with a little thinking. those who dont blabber bout pure mundane stupid and unconstructive sentences which do not add value to the whole conversation but actually perform some sort of thinking before they speak. cause words can kill. so dont belittle the intangibles.

2009-05-05T12:53:00.001+08:00

im feeling GLUM. can thursday arrive soon?

2009-04-25T01:19:00.002+08:00

nooooo.....why tyson of all people??? i adore his sarcasm to death and was hoping for more until he was ousted. i actually thought he had a good chance of winning.and give sierra a break. she needs chance to prove herself. sure she might seem annoying, but those people were really hard on her.especially those older, "wiser" folks in the tribe who presumed themselves to be on a higher level than her. and dont you just love to hate coach? his words alongside with tyson's and sierra's can make up the alltime Survivor's Top 10 Golden Statements. ok in case you are wondering it's the wonderful Survivor Tocantins you are missing out on. and yes in case you are wondering again, i havent much time left on my revision and shouldnt be wasting my time watching tv. then again, im glad i watched today's episode of survivor. totally cracked me up. Next up, S Factor on sunday.watching those empty vessels speak, ridiculing themselves all over the place. ohoh...dont i love to watch tv...hohoho.. :) i sound happy but im not. hohoho.

2009-04-19T13:43:00.002+08:00

Aristotle purported that Men are perfect human beings which renders Women less perfect than Men. Therefore, Men are capable of thinking rationally while Women's existence in this world is solely based on their function as a pleasure-seeking pacifier. So according to The Great Aristotle, if Men, as perfect human beings, are considered virtuous, why are there still so many less perfect Women left utterly heartbroken?

2009-04-11T14:33:00.002+08:00

so much for simplicity. it's a soothing afternoon. sipping my barley drink and flipping thru my notes. if only the weather was a lil dimmer and colder, wouldnt it be nice.

2009-04-07T22:46:00.002+08:00

it has been a good 4 months. of mad laughter, tinge of sadness, irritating frustration, worries, and lastly a stinging feeling of being used and trampled to culminate this last sem with the bunch. when they say life is colourful, i cant agree much more. for now i need to hibernate. i had gotten weaker from this colourful life ive been experiencing. perhaps, a tranquil, placid side of life suit me better.

2009-02-10T22:33:00.003+08:00

9th FEB:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!! :))))

wish you were here though..
so you can cook for me. im eating lousy pizza hut's pizza now. i want to eat rice and soup and vegetables and meat. can you come back now? im hungryyyyy..

haha :)
I love you mom!

2009-02-07T23:06:00.003+08:00

i was at Popular today and happen to flipped through "The Rape of Nanking" by Iris Chang. it was the most immensely sombre book ive ever read thus far. just merely 5 pages of the book left me in overwhelming, speechless thoughts. it leaves me thinking how humans can bear to see another fellow kind suffer in such uncommonly ghastly states. my readings on war literature should have included this work during my jc times. i think i would be able to put in writing better on the many themes of war lit. i wanted to buy the book to read but i cant seem to plough through the book any deeper. it was simply unbearable. this book can instantly eradicate any exuberance anytime for the one who reads. now, im feeling weak. weaker than ever to continue my assignment due monday. i need my energy boost. someone, help?

2009-02-04T00:31:00.002+08:00

i always thought i lack some form of social life. not till i blog-hopped and read this someone's blog did i realise that her definition of socialising is unusually warped. Referral of guys to fishes, clubbing to "fish" them and constantly self-directing this inner soliloquy with herself on potential candidates, just plunged my opinion of her as a person. (not that it was very high to begin with...) it irks me to bring up how i share a cursed affinity with her way back in secondary school, but i really wish her well in her life then and now. YOU should stop dreaming. wretched guys in this world ought to burn in hell. but not if you are wretched yourself and constantly dreaming of getting hooked by your own wretched kind at clubs. they say birds of the same feathers flock together. i cant agree much more. seriously, whats wrong with being alone? speaking of this, i should mention that i absolutely hate cny and the idea of reunion. i like being alone. now shoo and get lost.

2009-01-22T00:19:00.004+08:00

People should stop rambling incessantly.
It's painful to read and understand why there exists self-centred morons on earth.
Stop asking why the world is treating you unfairly, why the people around you keeps pissing you off,
but instead ask what you can do to contribute and make your life more worthy on this Great Earth.
This world doesnt stop revolving because of your mere existence,
it revolves cause the greatness in life makes it happen.
Always appreciate what you have in this moment,
and never doubt what others did in attempting to alter your course in life.
Because if you ever do,
change will never come.
Indeed some things are better left unsaid.
SO SHUT.

2009-01-15T01:12:00.005+08:00

Ive been rotting at home the past 2 days refusing to attend a dreadful course conducted by a self-proclaiming professor. The course which ruined my everything. Literally. This is so going to be a post full of heavy lamentations and sarcasm. Do pardon me.

So just now, this wonderful organisation which hosts my screwed up college experience requested for my valuable viewpoints of the courses specially held for me. Being the extremely nice person i am (as always), I decided to provide them some very heartfelt opinions of course.

Again, being the extremely nice person i am (as always), i decided to sieve out any possibility of negativities in my sentences despite much disagreement to do so. Although i strongly know that my opinions will not be received by the appropriate party (given the wonderful organisation that i am unfortunately under), this strange revelation after i clicked on the submit button somehow dawned upon me. I really enjoyed it much. hah.

On a sidenote, im not sure if you'll see this, but im really sorry. Im fairly good at disappointing people and breaking hearts. Im so sorry you had to be the one, and i had to be yours. it just wasnt meant to be.

2008-12-31T03:15:00.001+08:00

and so it ends right here.

2008-11-21T19:05:00.002+08:00

i really hate it when absolute strangers come stalking from no where.
playing this geo challenge application thing on fb has led me to some really nonsense comments from all over the globe recently.
STOP ASKING ME how i got my supposedly high score on the freaking game.
and STOP GOOGLING my name at random.

ugh -.-

2008-11-17T00:32:00.001+08:00

it's only today that casting away all the lamentations i had throughout this year seems befitting to justify how much a blessed life i have. and it's also today that i truly appreciate the workings of fate.
i would like to thank many from the bottom of my heart, but for you my heart has no bottom :)

2008-11-01T00:37:00.002+08:00

November is the time of the Snow Moon according to Pagan beliefs and this period is also described as the 'Moon of the falling leaves'. Commonly associated with frost, fog, wind, leaves, autumn, misty morning and thanksgiving, i am convinced that this is one unique month and am glad to share some affinity with it. Today marks the beginning of such a wonderful month and hopefully some enchanted dreams of mine might come to realisation soon. rejoice to the month of NOV! :D

2008-10-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

omg im starting to feel the stress.. :(

2008-10-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

this is another random one but im addicted to bubble tea! im feeling happy even when exams are looming.. hoho..all because of my daily dosage of satisfying bubble tea. hopefully drinking this might make me put on some tiny weight. and im seriously thinking of going for this weight gaining program that is advertising incessantly on tv and newspapers. yup..weight GAINING. you heard me right. check out their website. (www.ngweightgain.com.sg) although i dont really fancy the idea of herbal weight gain though. i cant stand TCM.
and im not anorexic. i can really PIG it out if i want. in fact i hate it when ppl ask me whether im one. (i also dont like the way strangers stare at me and comment on how fair and skinny i look..though i do admit i haven been under the sun for the longest time and my thighs are getting whiter each day)
i want to be fat. incredibly fat. hopefully when im able to gain some weight i can lose away that ugly sharp chin of mine.

2008-10-17T23:11:00.002+08:00

i have been very unproductive for exam preparation during the past 3 days. yet im not the least bit worried. what worries me more is the horrible routine of finding myself unable to get to sleep till the wee hours these days (...nights) and my super-lightning-rocket-speed metabolism rate. couple of days ago after a filling dinner i weighed myself a 38.9 kg. and just an hour later, the scale measured 37.6 kg. It's either my weighing machine is bonkers or my body is nuts. where on earth did that 1 kg of weight go?? any kilograms of weight is darn important to me. i cant afford to lose it in like a mere hour.... -.-

oh and do watch Survivor. i find Ace incredibly sexy. haha..random.... :)

2008-10-12T04:05:00.003+08:00

argh! i cant get to sleep! plus the bloody lizard in my bathroom is dam irritating... sigh.been hovering around the same chapter for the whole day already and i still cant complete it. at this rate, im so going to be IN HOT SOUP.
on a sidenote, ive been thinking about this for awhile.

i know. call me a laggard in product adoption. well still thinking though. might not actually be of good use to me since i always daydream my time away..ok time check. 4am. i need sleeping pills and stop blabbering nonsense.

2008-10-10T01:55:00.002+08:00

yay i have a clean and simple skin. i really like how my blog is filled with words and no pictures at all. hoho. cause firstly i dont bring out my camera whenever i go and i hate to take pictures actually.. 2ndly, i assume people who chance upon my blog will be disgusted by how my blog is so incredulously bland and dull that they wouldnt even bother to read the contents which is exactly what i wanted. and third, i really am a subtle person in case you dont know. and these days i have a liking for white and whiterer. donno why. hah
so exams are in 2 weeks. and i always feel like sleeping whenever i attempt to read my notes. which is bad. so i drew up a checklist today to roughly indicate what i have to complete before i battle it out in the exam hall. and in order to reassure myself i try to list out as few things as i can so it will seem that there's little to be done. well, perceiving things in its simplest sometimes does help. hopefully. and next week i plan to be a diligent girl and head to school and immerse myself in the wondrous study environment of SIM. *pukes* NO...SIM.. -.- i just wish there are cushions on the study benches. my ass is too bony to sit on those wooden planks for 8 hours. maybe i might bring one though, since i'll have the car for the next 2 weeks. whee. i love driving. not. but definitely better than the publics. :/

2008-09-19T19:11:00.007+08:00

it has been a long week of boring lessons and meeting project deadline. with exams in about 5 to 6 weeks time, school is getting really pretty dreadful.
so allow me to fantasize awhile on my newest craze.

well not really my newest but i always think that this is a person that oozes charisma even without smiling. even though he's at his thirties and getting married soon with a beautiful wife, he remains at the top echelon of my die-also-need-to-meet-once-in-person list. and this is a really dam hot picture of him! haha. especially love his smirk and squint. you see not alot of ppl has such charisma to die for and one who has such a trait really locks my attention.
come to think of it, a charismatic person should be a good-hearted person aint it? hmm.

and once again im not unfriendly and neither am i unapprocahable. im just not well-tuned to throwing my feelings everywhere, leaving trails of merry-making stains all over. in fact i consider myself a true blue scorpion. only angered when provoked. so if anyone tries to crack my icy case, a lava core might just be expose.

2008-09-09T18:57:00.002+08:00

damn sad. my thumbdrive crashed. It was the school's laptop's fault. Never Ever Borrow Any Laptops From SIM Library Again Please. My poor thumby contracted the most bizarre virus which transformed all my files and documents into WALLPAPERS. best. consider myself lucky that i have this perpetual sense of insecurity in me which made me backup 2 copies of each file i saved. then again im not sure whether i lost anything important. but i guess as long as i still have my painstakingly done "market demand potential" part for DC, the virus can take whatever it wants from my thumdrive.

anyway i finally got time to update because of the passing of today's crappy finance MCQ test. i was quite baffled with qn3 which i think most of the ppl chose option c. the qn was sth like finding present value of a $1000 that will be received in a years time which will generate the greatest return possible. i chose option d which was answer cant be determined. since there are 4 variables to such a question (PV, n, r and FV), and we are only given 2 out of the 4 variables, which is n and FV, we cant possibly find PV right? i mean you cant take whats given in the options to work back the PV right? i know option c is the correct answer if you work backwards to find PV by using the godlike financial calculator, but the qn is asking for 2 unknown variables which means ANSWER CANT BE DETERMINED!!!!???? doesnt make any human sense. do enlighten me if you can. other than that it was manageable because im armed with a SUPER GODLIKE financial calculator. was laughing my head off while being amazed by this godlike thing. $44 totally worth it as there will be no need for formulas and long depiction of calculation by hand. I LOVE my calculator!!!!! haha

alright i actually got more things to say. but i'll leave it for now. there are so so many things to do by this month. on a random note, 2 movies impacted me much recently. WallE and World Trade Center. off to dins.

2008-08-14T00:59:00.001+08:00

im easily manipulated like a pawn in chess.

2008-08-13T00:15:00.002+08:00

this is the time of the month when i wish i was born a boy. :(
anyway ive been getting up real early these few days just to watch the 10am live telecast of the Olympics swimming events. did you know Michael Phelps was diagnose with some form of hyperactive disorder when he was a kid and his mom send him for swimming in order to divert his excess energy. i guess his mom never would have imagine what a great swimmer her son turned out to be. and apparently his body is so nicely built for swimming. long torso, long limbs and shorter lower half body. i think im falling in love with swimmers. haha.

and to VIVIAN! OMG COMING BACK IN 2 DAYS?? THATS TOMORROW!! I CANT BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN 4 MONTHS!! MISSSSSSS YOOOOOOOOO~~~~CANT WAIT TO SEE YOUUUUU
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

2008-08-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

Today, I was thinking about what kind of things were palatable to my taste and others which I hated much. As i was eating japanese food for lunch, i came to a conclusion that i like my food raw and fresh and my tea as diluted as it can be in such a way that i can only taste a tinge of the flavour. And i hate to use wooden chopsticks to pick my food especially when I had to submerge those wood pieces in soups and smell and taste the disgusting wood while eating. I dont understand why there even exists wooden sticks as a form of culinary when it's like using tree branches to eat. And while watching the different sporting events on tv, any form of aquatic action are to my liking. I actually felt exhilarated watching it, left in awe with the precision and formidable skills brought into action. I absolutely hate to watch weightlifting. it is such a gruelling and cruel sport to watch. especially women's. ugh.

Apart from this, i have a strong desire to watch Avril Lavigne's concert live at the Singapore Indoor Stadium on 7th Sept. however, nobody around me seems to be interested. which dampens my spirit a lil since it would be wierd to watch it alone (although i pretty much can survive by myself, i guess) but never mind. im still on my own little search for the right One. nights! im off.

2008-07-29T23:06:00.002+08:00

the lack of updates is due to a variety of reasons:

1) My laptop keypads died on me. tentatively i cant use the P, L, K, J, U, O, I, 9, 0 and enter key. i have a feeling this keyboard virus is slowly spreading to the other keys as well as they are responding with a 3 second lag each time i tried to press them. So now im using this super lousy and definitely ergonomically less optimal USB keyboard. but well its cheap so i will stop complaining.

2) Not only is my keyboard infected, apparently my entire laptop system is slowing down due to unknown reasons. I suspect my overwhelming usage of it these past 2 years has already taken its toil. And it's depressing, cause this good ol' device had served me well and good. Honestly, im a nostalgia. I will only change something i had used for a long time when it truly survive till its last. And by being a nostalgia, one will know why i keep so many rubbish with me all these years. Perhaps this is the reason why my room was/is/will be in perpetual mayhem.

3) Seriously im the world's most dull, uninteresting and boring person one could ever encounter. which is why the lack of depth in my circle of friends even though this circle may seem to be wide and big on the surface. And of course with such a persona, nothing much could have happen that is significant for me to blog about even though i wish i could.

And thats that. Now if only a meteor crashes into my doorway tomorrow morning when im heading for school, I doubt I will have an interesting day tomorrow.

2008-07-17T01:26:00.002+08:00

i recently talked to a friend who had just ended a rather long relationship. one which i thought would last more than it should have been. it came as a rude shock to me when i heard the cause of the unfortunate breakup. which i never would have expected it to happen on these 2. although this friend of mine has began to go on with life, i cant help but lament on how a major transition in life can trigger such a ripple effect. Even though it sounds super cliche, people in a relationship should really cherish their special one. Be it a dinner, a ride, a sweet photo taken or even a simple text msg. cause you may never know when is the last dinner, last ride, last photo or last msg you would share with your someone. Since the world has been formulated to make all things come to an end, one should start anything by commiting to it and live w/o regrets. if not ready to start, simply live alone and live happily. a random chinese quote just came to my mind: 世界上最遥远的距离是，我看得见你，但你却不知道我的存在.

off to dream.

2008-07-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

why doesnt anyone understand? im seriously hurt.

2008-07-10T02:42:00.002+08:00

I dread the time when night falls and am left alone in my own thoughts especially in recent years when i had encountered things which i should not have been encountering at all if time were to track back and The Change in people did not occur. And when people suffering from sleepless nights say how terrible the experience had been, I can totally feel for them as the heavy emotional toil im experiencing makes sleeping a totally exhaustive activity in its own. And what makes matters worse is the fact that there is simply not a single soul i can turn to when i feel like pouring out all my woes. Sometimes not even the people closest to me or people who seems to be. I want to say i love my mummy alot. and my sister too. cause my mom really is very supportive of me even though i am in this recent mess with school stuff. and she is the first person i thought of everytime i need that somebody. although she may not be physically around sometimes. but it is always assuring to hear her voice over the phone. and my sis. with all her nonsensical msges just to cheer me up.

i am going to stop now cause im already tearing up. something which i dont usually do. nights world. i think i might need a shrink soon.

2008-07-04T03:17:00.003+08:00

it feels great to do something without planning for it. And something that either you will hate it or love it. Just this bipolar outcomes is enough to set me on a frenzy. woohoo~

2008-06-29T02:17:00.000+08:00

and so..someday i will get what i want.

2008-06-08T01:24:00.002+08:00

now i can only hope for the best.

Anyway this post is dedicated to lene! for turning 21st already!! haha i think i wished you everywhere cept for friendster. i promise myself im gg to date you out when i come back next thursday and i will definitely keep to that!

Im glad there are people who genuinely care for me albeit it might be just a couple. However thats all i need for now. really much appreciated. :) im a happy girl. :)

2008-06-05T18:18:00.003+08:00

im back with a heavy heart. 2 days ago i was still pretty fine with my own self-consolation after looking at the 'NN' of the row under Business Ethics. Obviously my effort in building up a wall of self-denial immediately came crashing down after harsh reality sets in. Without any doubt, today has to be one of my most dejected days in months. I know i wasnt even close to state of dejection when i failed MAB the first time and even the terrible 'A' lvls didnt really stinged me that hard. While contemplating whether to file for an appeal, i kept on thinking on how that doomed paper went and yet there were no clear recollections whatsoever. It's funny how the appeal process could only be based on 3 circumstances, all of which i have no idea how to go about delivering my case. I would think that it would be a seemingly futile effort to appeal especially when i have to weave a big story on how i thought my writings are strongly justified by my adequate understanding of the module. And i know i suck badly at convincing people, so no point in appealing when people are going to scoff at my rebuttal. Perhaps i shouldnt have gone for the paper, given my swollen eye that left a permenant scar till now. Or perhaps i should have put in less effort in the projects so that will make me feel better if i failed. It is true that this is my worst semester and i shall make it the worst i've ever had. No more excuses. I hate myself for being stupid and not ethical enough.

2008-06-01T01:35:00.002+08:00

i kind of like the 1st day of every month because of the beautiful church bell at my area that will resonate promptly at 12 noon on that particular day. And for that 30 seconds or so, serenity seems to overcome the entire neighbourhood and the grandeur echo continues to linger for the one that listens. Im quite sure i have not missed any since the start of the year and am sad to say i would not be able to hear it later on today. Nevertheless im quite looking forward to my usual holiday trip as a chance for me to forget about the mundanes at home. Of course whilst worrying for the impending release of results, i could only pray hard that im able to escape unscathed from one of the worst semesters i had so far. Aquarius better have some form of internet access if not i will just jump down into the straits of malacca, swim to indonesia and be a country peasant for the rest of my life without worrying about the darn results and the sickening life im forced to live with back home. yeah if only i could. Till 5/6, im out.

2008-05-29T17:43:00.003+08:00

alot of ppl has at some point of time asked me what i would want to be if i had a chance. and i replied "perhaps being a full-time musician playing in a symphonic orchestra and touring the world with nothing but just me and my instrument." This dream of mine originated when i was primary 2 and my very inspirational conductor then has contributed a very big part to my dream. Well obviously dreams are meant to be just a facade. And at this point i truly understand the meaning of how dreams should stay as it is and sometimes it's better not to realise it or even acknowledge it.

ok thats not the whole point. my point is i have come to realise how band has been or is such a big part of my life, even though i had refuse to accept it at some point in my life. im not sure if i had said it before but i really want to thank my mom for signing me up for band as an ECA(the then CCA where it was not complusory to have one, even more so for primary school kids) My pri sch band life was memorable. The most tears i had shed as well as the most lessons i had learnt was from then. My only regret is that i never had the chance to graduate from there and in the process lost many of my pri sch friends, some of whom i had never seen since 12 years old and yet i still do remember them when i see familiar names popping out.

i daresay my sec sch band life was the happiest of all but also the most pressurizing and unforgettable one. Honestly in my opinion, given my extremely low EQ level, i might have offended the most people in my sec sch days for some reasons that i know or might not know. And this is probably the one stage in my life that results in who i am now as a person. Nevertheless, i still love 'em all and my memories of NH remains deeply in my mind even thought i would want to erase some memories for good. And i believe anything that runs deep into the mind would remain there for good so there is no way i would be able to forget them.

JC band life was the most short-lived and yet is the only one which i would want to pledge long term loyalty to. The transition from sec sch to JC has been an arduous one and if not for the existence of the many different individuals in my JC band i would not hesitate to quit school for good since JC life proves to be much difficult as it seems.

And while i was processing many of my thoughts about band this entire week, i came upon all these videos that made me relive the band-ing moments. all of which gave me good reasons to use up a few pieces of tissue. As much as i try to suppress my emotions (as i always do), there will be some breaking point for me since im human too.

"The Winds of Poseidon"-SYF 2001

"Persis"-i rmb it vaguely as my very last piece played in sec sch

"October"-a very melodious piece once played in AC

i feel much better now with some therapeutic band music. something which i need rather badly at the moment.

2008-05-25T03:12:00.001+08:00

im thinking...maybe...i dont know...can i?

2008-05-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

Journey. a simple word yet encompassing a less than simple process. And deep down i believe it is the Journey of Life that truly encapsulates the many layers of interlocked emotions. An everlast cycle of tears of relieve and acceptance of maturation with many thanks and deep appreciation.

So so so so touched.

2008-05-20T00:34:00.003+08:00

oh no. i think i just got into some trouble by allowing myself to be paid for doing some assignment. Initially i thought it would be quite easy to just get it over and done with but it wasnt meant to be. i seriously have no idea how to get about doing the strategic operations management!!!!! argh. i just landed on a pile of shit slowly sinking in. i promise i wont do it again!! SOBS. help anyone~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BAH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WAH~~~~~~~~~~

sorry.

2008-05-18T02:46:00.003+08:00

There was a boy, he got all the fame.
He's a star, everybody screaming his name.
And here's a girl, she never feels the love she wanted.
All her life she was taken for granted.
Suddenly she is in silence,
Listening to the sound of silence.
How could he love an unattractive girl?
He's a star and she's just an ordinary girl.
She's dreaming a star that is hard to attain,
Loving a star she will only get pain.

2008-05-17T03:16:00.000+08:00

it would be nice to dream, wouldnt it?

2008-05-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

it was a rather memorable night.

2008-05-12T10:17:00.002+08:00

wee~ a brand new week to start off my HOLIDAYS! how schweet :) ive got millions of plans during this summer holiday which is kind of unlike me who will be most willing to laze in the bed all day w/o doing anything at all. But never am i going to waste the seconds away cause i think life's really short (which it really is...)

anyway this post is dedicated to 2 people who are probably already half a globe apart from me right now enjoying some NY breeze and the yanks culture for !!FOUR!! months. sobs. ok four months isnt that long BUT IT AINT THAT SHORT EITHER! double sobs. alright. so to my beloved VIVI and CAROL please do take care of yourselves over there and really maximise time spent and enjoy it to the fullest-est cause like what ive said in the beginning of this post: Life's short. haha.

ok im off for mahjong. my kakis are sick. they want to play from early morning till late night for 4 consecutive rounds!! hello. i will foam at my mouth if i play for that long. will probably get sick after 1 round. seriously. gone are the days when i play mahjong everyday with the professionals (by professionals i meant the hardcore MJ players consisting of ah-peks and ah-mas who congregate at chinatown for real gambling. their speed and wit is beyond the thinkable.. -.-) but hey, thats where i polished my MJ skills from. hah. and secretly im quite proud of it. woots.

2008-05-03T00:59:00.002+08:00

this sem has been a long, gruelling one although it seems to pass by pretty rapidly. ironic am i? i have a feeling im going to spend my time after the exams doing some really fulfilling things trying to enrich my life, living as if it will be my last day each day. afterall, im already reaching my 1/3 of lifespan and i would want to maximise my time on this planet. it is probably after all my horrid nightmares recently that led me to these thoughts cause i really do cherish everyone around me even though i do not always explicitly portray my emotions as much as i want to. all these to come into being after 8th May.

2008-04-14T22:58:00.002+08:00

bah.my internet connection has been really bad these few days. or should i say mozilla firefox has been failing on me :( im reverting to internet explorer now and boy does IE proves to be much more efficient ever since i abandoned it over firefox. heh.

it's study break now.and im really finding it very difficult to concentrate. not because the environment is'nt conducive but the amount of time given for the study break is too short for me to settle down. :[
last sem's study break was nearly a month long and i had some time to dilly dally around before i commit myself down to MUG. this time round i had no chance to sloth with just less than 2 weeks to the first paper. T_T

[and...there's this certain irritating soul who has been persistently trying to ask me out even though i had turned this soul down EVERYTIME. why doesnt he get the freaking idea?? I DO NOT WISH TO GO ON DATES WITH YOU SO PLEASE STOP TRYING TO ASK ME ANYMORE. want a good reason? I LIKE GIRLS ALRIGHT? zzzzzzzzzzzzz.............
scoot off.]

this is the one time i would love people like him to read my blog. zzzz. really getting on my nerves. rahhhhhhh.

2008-04-12T00:45:00.002+08:00

americans freaking screwed it again.GREAT.not.pls give my idol back.

and i was so tickled by the fake idol being played on survivor.hahaaahhahah.
fridays are so awesome :)

2008-04-07T15:07:00.003+08:00

this is going to be a long entry seeing that i have not been properly updating for such a long time.
The reason behind this long hiatus is due to the many projects and assignments which we are tasked to do by RMIT. Today, 07/04/2008, marks the end of all projects and assignments and presentaion to be carried out in this semester and although im kinda relieved by getting it over and done with, im somewhat undergoing through a mild stage of depression over this whole semester.
I cant stress any much more on the importance of matching own's expectations with that of your group members' expectations you choose to work with over a gruelling period of 1 whole semester. It seems that my fate this time round has to be on the downside of that of a playground slide. At the beginning of this semester when everyone was scurrying around looking for groups to work with, my passive decision has resulted in the situation which lands me in this entire semester. Although approached by other groups of individuals, i promptly declined any invitation only because i was afraid the new working environment i would have to adjust to if i chose to work with these new individuals. Also, since i presume things would go well this semester with the current groups of individuals im drafted to work with, my presumptions has proven itself to be completely wrong and groundless over the course of this whole semester. It is depressing to know that the success of each project to be handed in lies in only 1 or 2 individuals in the group while the others simply do not possess the ability, do not see the need to put in as much as these 1 or 2 individuals, or just treat it that these 1 or 2 individuals has the capability to finish the projects by themselves and that they will be magnanimous enough to regard the lack of effort from the rest of the group as a passing parcel of smoke oozing out from a certain blackened chimney. As a perfectly normal human being with healthy psychological well-being and sound state of mind, im actually pleased with myself that i had gained another enlightenment level of curbing my haphazard emotional roller coaster thats running madly within my soul. It is really interesting to observe how my body and mind reacts to this dreadful situation i was faced with. As deadlines approached and level of output did not barely justify the amount of time left, i actually felt hard to breathe and my limbs went cold.i admit im not an emotional person and i rarely cry over trivial things, but the situation faced in this semester has reduced me to an easily succumbed crying soul. This physical change was aggravated by statements made (either intentionally or un-inentionally, for which i chose to belive it was purely un-intentional and was pure lamentations) such as "i woke up this morning and i really dont give a damn whether all our projects going to received a failed grade", "im sorry i did not put in as much effort as i could have been" and "who cares seriously". Not being a true academic fanatic and geeky mugger, i truely felt hurt when statements like this came out without proper brain-treatment and processing. It makes me wonder what truely encompasses the purpose of these projects by RMIT. By the end of today, i realise that the purpose of these projects done for this semester is to clearly highlight the perspectives of different individuals base on a wide spectrum of issues ranging from relationship issues to personal issues. Can i say im lucky to be void of all irksome issues which may be faced by various individuals over this entire semester. im lucky i do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend to care of, im lucky im not down with flu and cold this semester, im lucky to not have to work and study at the same time and im even more lucky that im not addicted to gaming which could entirely suck out your soul, leaving you with this empty outer casing. All this luckiness has resulted in my extremely gruelling semester that ive gone through and it seems that sometimes being unfortunately enough to be bugged down by issues such as those described above is a clear avenue to exercise escapism at its highest level. All in all, i think i would need a pretty long enough time to get over with all these inflamed emotions which im glad that it did not explode off under the public's eye.
For now, i need to rest.

2008-04-01T23:33:00.001+08:00

i know that im less of an emotion person. however i just cried.

2008-03-15T02:31:00.003+08:00

david hernandez.david hernandez.david hernandez.

i really dont care bout archuleta now. hernandez totally rocked my heart out.since the audition days i already knew he would be something on the show. BUT WHY was he voted off?????? *roll eyes* who cares whether he was a stripper at a club before? even if that was true it really did just scored some points on his hot-o-meter scale!!! he SHOULD at least be like top 3 or something. sobs. he is like how cute.... absolutely fatal decision americans made. -.- why dont they set-up an online vote on americanidol.com? then i can click my fingers off for him..haizzzzz..

ok at least let him appear in my dreams can. i promise not to sulk all day if he did appear. :)

2008-03-06T23:47:00.002+08:00

Ethics project is driving me NUTS. like what lene said this subject is SO UNINTERESTING i bet it will bore a tree out of its bark. I really do not see the point why we have to write out the case according to the blurdy textbook and follow a stipulated template to the extend that each section has to be of consistency to what has already been drafted out from the text. And of course even the lecturer said that if it was him who set the guidelines for this project he would not ask us to follow the textbook case and instead just write out the shit out of the local case. Crux of the story? rmit's school of business personnel should really just squash their heads under the mortar for coming up with such gruel guidelines.

and now my stomach's a lil upset. cause i just broke my record of finishing my dinner in 5 mins. i was too hungry thats why. i ate like a pig.well worse than a pig in fact. cause im sure pigs take more than 5 mins to finish their meal of rotten food and stale water.

Thought of the day: -.-

2008-02-26T22:12:00.001+08:00

im somewhat lost now.

2008-02-26T00:43:00.002+08:00

so much for saving the environment. i just printed like 60 over pages worth of notes and im now being tormented by guilt of my part in destroying the environment..

more printing=more paper=more wood pulp=less trees=unbalanced ecosystem=humans being wipe-out sooner or later.

why doesnt anyone understand that. -.-

2008-02-22T22:10:00.002+08:00

i love fridays of all days. cause there's AI and survivor in 1 night. how's that! i love all the davids in this season of AI. amazing. in fact i think i love them all! haha. now now~

back to project. deadline's in 10+ hours.

2008-02-20T17:36:00.002+08:00

A leap year (or intercalary year) is a year containing one or more extra days (or, in case of lunisolar calendars, an extra month) in order to keep the calendar year synchronised with the astronomical or seasonal year.

i was on the bus this afternoon and the trailer for movie The Leap Year was showing. And till now, the background music accompaniment still rings in my ear. It would be quite pleasantly sweet if me and a someone agreed to meet up the next leap year and anticipate the arrival of this once in 4 years moment. By then i would be 25 years old. wow.

2008-02-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

i guess i should start updating again.

2007-10-26T01:16:00.000+08:00

aloha!
ive got my crown done today. hhaha. now ive got something thats fake on myself. so if ppl were to ask me "Is there anywhere on your body that you had it fixed aesthetically?" i would be so pleased to tell them " why yes! not my boobs (although they're small. HAHA!) but my front tooth! and they look really good. hhahahha.
but it was some pain i gone thru. if you want me to name 1 person i hate, the dentist would be my answer. i think my dentist doesnt understand that every individual has different levels of tolerance and it so happen that mine's not very high. i would appreciate if he can give me an idea of what he's doing at that moment instead of shoving around all the whatever thats in my mouth. alas.
well still trying to get use to having a fake porcelain tooth. and relieving the dreadful memory of how my tooth broke when i was a midget. darn. i still can rmb the blardy idiot who tripped me over. -.-
alright back to studying. someone should just keep my laptop away from my desk. my eyes are practically glued to anywhere else except my notes. sleep well everyone! and hopefully myself too.
xoxo.

2007-10-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

have you ever tried screaming your way out of bed?
i just had a most bizarre experience this morning. i actually screamed myself awake today. cause i had a horrible dream.
of me getting bullied.

2007-10-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

the screwed-up weather in singapore is really making my whole body topsy-turvy. been experiencing dizzy spells and migraine during all the hot afternoons where u can practically feel the heat oozing out from the walls of my house. No shit man. so much for the advancement of air-conditions and coolers. they have ABSOLUTELY no effect on the bloody enough-to-bake-you-alive-temperature. dr lee's house is a classic example. two aircons blasting at the rather confined living room area and it still resembles a greenhouse enough for plants to manufacture their daily essentials. isnt it autumn right now and the weather should be some cool and fine? dam. the earth's really dying with humans as baits. channel5 just had this disgusting show with spiders crawling all over the place and killing humans. mediacorp should just stop screening all these nauseatic shows which have no educational or entertainment value whatsoever. im having my freaking dinner while watching spiders secreting eewie stuff alright?! zzz.

2007-10-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

how is to have all the time in the world and yet have no idea where to spend it on? ahahha. im talking rubbish. thats the result from not activating my brain cells often enough. ding ding. time to maximise my brain capacity.

i wonder why ive got such a kiddo face. first i got stopped by the attendant while on my way in to watch chuck&larry with my whole bunch of schoolmates(M18 btw..) and just today an amah thought that i went shopping with my mum cause there's no sch on childrens' day. She freaking thought i was a kid! gosh. must try to look more mature from now on. cant believe im still mistaken for an underaged kid when im freaking twenty-to-be. boohoo-

i think i look my age what. stop calling me a kid! :(

2007-09-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

sigh. even though it's only the 10th day for this month i already know that september's really not a good month for me.

Firstly, i was "accused" of something which i did not do.
Secondly, my life's been screwed up again by a certain someone.
Third, projects are killing me.
4th, tests are killing me.
Last, im killing myself by sleeping so late each night.

hate to be accused or mistaken for anything i did not do or things i did not do on purpose or have the intention to do. hai. serve me right in the first place lar. i realise im an angry person. which is really bad. i think i should go like be a nun for a year or something. i really dont mind shaving my hair off in exchange for a cleansed up state of mind and emotion.

but wait

well actually i do mind la. i cant bring myself to be a baldie. :(

on a lighter note, im glad that i met up with my lovely mates from AA2 on saturday. was great seeing them again. really happy that everyone's still the same old them. and even if there are any changes, i think they are all positive changes and im really happy for them. oh and the food was sooooo good. thanks marc! plus the place too.. even though it wasnt my first time there, it was still my first time in a long time and im still in awe by the wonderful atmosphere of marc's house. imagine having a bali as a house.....now how bout that.....hahahhaha..

okayyyy. got to go back to BUYER BEHAVIOUR & BUSINESS FRAMEWORKS.
-pukes bloood and faint-
ugh

2007-09-02T16:20:00.000+08:00

wasnt myself these few days. something major happen again. im sorry for ppl around me who have to tolerate my fluctuating emotions. really am. i admit i have pretty low eq. i dunno wats become of me. well maybe i do know what cause me to behave like this. and it's terrible not being able to say it out. sorry again to ppl who are affected by my mishandlement of my emotions due to my low eq.

and fug to all who cause all my unhappiness. hate you [all].

2007-08-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

finally a breather from all the projects and assignments. the first few days of this week was really horrible. i din have a good sleep at all, and im that kind of person who wont sleep w/o someone bugging me to. which is bad i guess. hah. and today's been the 2nd time i woke up late for lesson. practically dragged myself up from bed cause the weather was so dam good for snugging in my blanket. hahah. oh but thanks to my late-ness i saw this quite cute guy on my way to school. wahaha! totally made my day!!

but more work coming next week. *stab knife in heart and faint* -.-!

oh and im helping my friend to sell her tons of earrings at my shop. well im exaggerating but all the earrings are so pretty and it comes in dozens of color and in small and big sizes.AND it's handmade.

it looks something like this:

plain white flower earrings with blue

streaks in it. this is the small size ones

measuring 1.5cm in diameter. there

is a larger version of it, din get to measure

but i reckon it's prolly 2cm in diameter. goes

well with sun dress and you prolly might wan

to tie up your hair to let the whole world see your

pretty accessories! wahaha~

tadah~ colourful right? hah.

Tentatively price is set at $9.90 for the small size ones and $11.90 for the bigger ones.

Colours include red, pink, yellow, orange, blue, white, brown, green and the streaks in it varies too. anyone interested? feel free to come my shop and also purchase some clothes too alright? having clearance sale now. you name the price for the items you want. i'll sell it to you all at nearly wholesale price.

alright back to studying. gonna be a mugger this weekend for next week's MR test. sucks. suppose to be postpone but it seems like it's gg to be on schedule again. tata~

2007-08-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

currently going bonkers with all my school work. sigh. and find me a way to cure horrendous dark circles. i look like a ghost now. eeyer.

2007-08-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

ultimate cure for extreme boredom! check this out! muahahah!

Extreme Pamplona

Play Sure for Men's 'Extreme Pamplona'

Play this free game now!!

2007-07-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

hello world! what a dam long time since i last posted on this dead blog. well as if anyone's gg to read it but still my irritating sista keep pestering me to brush up on my blog..like she frequently update her blog lor..my foot.

anyway i just realise it's been nearly a month since school started and am completely disgusted with how time flies. school work is PILING UP (with xtra big capitals!) and i really must start to do something to clear up all the horrendous looking sheets of paperwork i have to complete week by week. do you get marks for handing in tutorials cause i do and it's shity cause it means homework every week. PLus all the assignment case studies, projects means more shit coming up and more racking of brain cells. ugh ugh ugh. OB class today was so boring today that i fled out the minute lecturer said he was done for the day. -.-

btw my shop is closing down in like 2 months time. what a pity. but i think it's for the better i guess. more time to deal with things which r profitable n fun.hahaha. so must work n study at the same time for 2 more bloody months. and im quite sure i wont step in to fareast very much den. hah. brought my folks to dempsey just now and they both agreed it's a cool place but disagreed with the exorbitant prices. lol. cmon high quality entertainment comes with a high price right? just look at all the porches, ferraris n BMWs parked there and you'll noe what target market Dempsey is catering to. OH No. i sound like my marketing lecturer. better stop.

and so i hope to blog more often to revive this dead blog of mine. and am ending this with my narcissism. heh.

like this picture alot. with my pesky lil sis. love her la. haha

2007-07-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

quiet. so quiet.
lonely. so lonely.
alone. so alone.

i think i'll have a great weekend.
hah.

2007-07-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

My new semester kicked off today. And you know how cliche it is to remind yourself that you have to work hard for this sem and try to get good grades but in the end the situation turns out to be a flop. Im often kept in awe by people who are so motivated to do things which they set out to do and aim to achieve. Just ytd, i happen to watch this 'three wishes' show on channel 5 and it featured this 10 yr old kid who aspires to be a company's CEO one day and his wish was granted by the production team. What was very amazing was that this 10yr old was given a chance to meet Bill Gates and be Microsoft's CEO for a day. Yet, he showed no signs of nervousness nor lack of confidence in what he was doing. What i saw was a strong-willed young boy who knew exactly how the rest of his life might be like and how he shapes himself to be like someone as successful as Bill Gates just at the age of 10. Watching all this makes me feel microscopic and ashamed. Ashamed by how im progressing on with my life while others are propelling full speed ahead with the era. I guess it all boils down to one's self determination and having a clear vision of your own future.

And thats why

I decided to read my accounting later tonight. hah.

2007-06-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

extremely addicted to this song right now.it's not a very new song since it's released like 2 yrs ago..i dont noe y but this kind of genre especially appeal to me most. it's by alan kuo, a taiwanese singer whose father broke the world record for being the first man to fly over the breadth of China's longest and largest river, Yellow River on a motorbike. but he's no longer in our dimension. nevertheless, his son continued his legacy by carving a niche for himself thru the music arena. In my own opinion, a powerful and expressive song. i like :) enjoy.

2007-06-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

Muse-a night to remember

finally it came to an end ytd night. after weeks of practices and ytd's concert performance, i have a feeling that i might reconsider joining in the next alumni production if there's to be one in the future. not that it wasnt enjoyable but im feeling my lack of ability to contribute well to this whole thing. thats probably why i ticked the 'i might consider joining in the next alumni production and pls do contact me' box in the feedback form.

nevertheless, time spent in band is never dull with the wonderful peeps i have. met up with viv, jill, huiying n daniel before heading to vch. and not to forget the tasty mushroom soup we had that day. yum! when rehearsal ended, everything pretty much went by in fastforward speed. there wasnt any time for me to record each passing moment into my midget brain space. i rmb there's this girl in acjc band who lost her blazer and her shoes, many ppl taking photos backstage, some of the alumni with their own instruments practicing while waiting for alumni performance to commence, horns went downstairs to get in tune while joanna was searching frantically for her horn, we lined up to get onstage, carmen started and ended, my arms were aching, fifth suite started and ended, my lips were so sore, eunice olsen came on stage and whoa we had such a clear view of her body shape, and finally the last note ended. and then i went to meet with clem ann seb and gerri. really thankful for them coming down to the concert and getting me such nice flowers. :) and then we continued to take more photos and a senior came to comment on what i was wearing (that i look like a waitress -.-!) and blaming us for not being quick enough so that she can take photo with eunice olsen....

well in short, pictures speak a thousand words

joanna, jill, ruth

viv n yingshi

vIVI!

with cheryl mummy

ann clem seb

pretty ann

fyedee!

nanhua peeps

Dr Lee

Eunice Olsen

tata..

2007-06-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

my eyelid was twitching all the time today and although im not a very superstitious person i cant help but feel that something bad might happen today. And true enough, lene called and told me that results were out which i thought was to be out on 10th June..how stupid of me... and the worst part was that i failed accounting which i hope to pass most since i dont wan to repeat another half a year on a stupid module which doesnt interest me at all... but unfortunately, the fact is that i will have to retake this supremely undesirable module of all...sigh...

but on the brighter side..at least i'll have some accompaniment for next sem..and i swear im gg to pass this module for all i can! grrr.... extremely no mood now...think i might bite if someone irritates me now...i better vanish soon.... sigh again...

2007-06-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

deadbeat. got cheated of my feelings again. thought i might get to see olsen today for band prac. super tiring practice. rhapsody in blue is so alien to me. but i think it's a nice song. Dr lee came to conduct and din expect today to end so late and ended up not being able to meet up with them at dempsey. sry clem. but really dr lee hasnt changed much.

oh god..im like listening to ross roy now on soundclick and all my sec sch memories r coming back.... -.-

and jill n i were discussing bout what to wear for concert and we decided to ditch out of the contemporary black shirt and office pants and go for some mod/emo/gothic look with black dress and stockings and shoes and big black bangs with a short bob for a hairstyle. kinda out of the box..haha..on or not jill?? haha..

just dont be like spongebob..lame effort..zzz..

2007-05-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

with the ongoing GSS, let me draft out some characteristics of Sporean shopping habits.

1. Tend to choose conventional shopping centres in town and prestigious outlets.
Myth: I'll be able to get more discounts from these stores since they are so fashionable and trendy.
Fact: Sporeans should explore more of the heartland areas. If you really dig in the stores, you might unexpectedly find cool and cheap stuff to your liking. Recommended places: the new Ang Mo Kio Hub, Toa payoh and even Chinatown.

2. Tend to grab a few friends out for shopping spree and even bf along.
Myth: It's fun to hang out with friends and shop and chat and eat and laugh and share.
Fact: I often see throngs and throngs of friends shopping together and guess what..some actually have bored faces and irritated expressions on them. Sometimes shopping by your own isnt a bad thing really. No one would label you as a loner and loser. Even more so, you dont have to feel paiseh for making your friend wait for you while you r trying on 89741028 pieces of dresses in the fitting room. And it isnt nice to make your bf get pissed off with carrying all your shopping bags and accompanying you around crowded and human-packed shopping centres during weekends. aww..we know guys arent made to be shopping partners.

3. Tend to overdress/underdress.
Myth: overdress---wow i stand out in the crowd (with 5 inch heels, micromini skirt or complicated draps of cloth all over)
underdress---wow im really a tru blue Sporean (with t-shirt, shorts and slippers)
Fact: overdress---erm pls dont torture youself n others around you. if you look closely, u'll find girls with sore bleeding spots at their achilles heel because of them wearing sky high heels while shopping. Recommended: flats, loafers, pumps. they are definitely more suitable for long hours of walking and you still can look good without heels. really. And no free shows pls. Keep all your plunging necklines n deadly micromini skirts away. You wan to feel comfortable and make others comfortable while shopping. And of course, wear clothes which are easy to change out into while you r trying this pretty dress. I really dont like people who hog up the fitting room much.
underdress---alright sporeans should change out of their national uniform. I know it's comfortable wearing shirts n shorts n flip flops. But really.. they arent exactly pleasing to the eyes either. Recommended: perhaps jeans with a tastefully designed top. or even a summer dress will do the magic.

above advice copyrights of chrysa. Enjoy the GSS 2007! (25th May-22 July) happy shopping!

2007-05-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

alright when i blog 2 times in a day it just show how no-life i am. got so bored today at work that i took super alot of pics. and i think i look bad. like close to ugly.

bored face -.-

:X

:P

she's my sis

and again

i measured. my eyes are less than an inch in length. thats how small they are. should i go get double eyelids?? actually i have double eyelids. but subtle. can only see it close up. lol. i think i'll try to widen my eyes every few seconds and when i do this for a few years perhaps it'll grow bigger...... :/

2007-05-30T08:36:00.000+08:00

new skin again.hopefully it is accessible to those who want to access. cant believe im up at this time. feeling tremendously uber drained. from.......i cant say........

2007-05-23T01:52:00.000+08:00

eeks. my house is ant-infested! must be all the sweet stuff my sis's taking. gross. and come to think of it.. while i was on the road today, i saw a number of vans with advertisements of pest-control. ahh..this is the time to take note of their numbers printed on the body of their vehicle. but it's so difficult to catch their words in just seconds of passing them on the expressway. and even more so difficult with my astigmatism. just a while ago, i mistaken a 6 for an 8. maybe i should reinstate the status of my glasses from collecting dust and growing rusty in my drawer..zzz..

mad world

2007-05-17T02:59:00.000+08:00

somehow i think the world is like a big furnace of burning madness. such a melancholic song which really reflects the reality. No fairytales, no dreams. so apt in describing the current situation now. The dreams in which im dying are the best i ever had. Indeed it's a blessing to be able to dream of the best, for the 'mad world' instantly disregard any connection with ambitious goals and aims. And im paticularly amazed by the music video which shows simple images of what the songwriter wishes to deliver. Simple but with deep meanings attached to it. Mad World by Gary Jules.

2007-05-13T21:26:00.000+08:00

im angry. really angry with a someone now. so angry i can murder him right now, but i cant. such ridiculous things this someone said like "eating fruits will suffice to make you full." completely disgusted by this someone's incredulous i-know-what-to-do-dont-need-anyone-to-interfere attitude. GRR... fact is this someone doesnt know the word shame and im superbly mortified by it. i even feel nauseatic looking at this someone's backview thinking how this someone can be so intensely enthusiastic with another hugely grossful fairer sex of qin-shi-huang and mao-tse-tung's nationality.

yucks.yucks.yucks.yucks.yucks.

2007-05-12T00:40:00.000+08:00

epilepsy: a disorder of the central nervous system characterized by loss of consciousness and convulsions. isnt it scary to not be able to control the nerves in your brain? and not knowing what you had done when your nerves instantaneously disconnects by itelf? sigh.

well acjc band was awarded GWH! and top jc band! wonderfully good job! was reading all the words by some of the alums and i can sense the high morale of the band being boosted by all the encouragements and inspiration. plus all the pictures and everything being hung up in the store. nice. all the memories. when i first joined band in primary school i never expected myself to be so attached to the funs of joining a band. it's not just plain get together and producing music but also the camaraderie i must say. imagine if my mum din sign on the consent form for me when i was primary 2 to join band i would not have step into it and meet my so ever terrorising conductor who scolded me really bad but at the same time learn alot from her. and subsequently i would not have wanted to join band in sec sch and i would not have experienced all the highs and lows there. and even more so would not encounter all the mates in acband. come to think if it, you choose your own life isnt it even when life has so many choices.

and so i await more of such life journeys to come. which when im wrinkled and saggy all over, will still remember all the memories of music-making.

it's over

2007-05-10T22:36:00.000+08:00

finally the end of exams which marks the beginning of new found freedom. well not actually since like always freedom doesnt come whole-heartedly. there's always something which prevents you from enjoying the spices of life. well if you know what i mean. but unfortunately. no one does.

2 more

2007-05-04T19:36:00.000+08:00

tsk. how long this place been collecting dust.2 papers down 2 more to go. sigh. next thursday will be the time to clear off these dusts. cant wait for it. and im so going to watch spiderman. anyone wants to date me out?? zzz...

yay!

2007-04-18T21:43:00.000+08:00

like say yay 10 times with both hands waving in the air with me now! YES YES YES i finally got over n done with this whole bloody thing! wasted so much money and yes finally a long awaited driving license!!! hahahahhaha :D i think i was really really really lucky to have pass today. firstly, my test's like in the morning at 10:15 which isnt peak hour. Secondly, im taking it for the second time so im not that nervous compared to the first. Third, i was lucky enough to get an easy test route (the bukit batok one. teck whye's a killer!!) Lastly, the tester's just pure nice. i actually hit the kerb twice in the circuit and still manage to pass. And tada, my driving license comes into existence on this very date. :)

but still u ask me to drive now on the road i might think twice first. hah. alright time to save up on the dollars. cant wait to graduate fast n get a nice job soon. i really wan to grow up and be a sensible n mature lady fast for there's so many responsibilities awaiting me to carry upon in the future. sigh. :)

.

2007-04-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

i dont like the title thing on every start of my post. cause my train of thoughts arent that organised to always keep to a certain topic and ramble upon it. that explains why my essays are always out of point. zz. today i did a rare thing which i have not done in like 3 years. i actually went to the library to borrow books! gosh. ya i admit im not really a fan of books cause i dont noe how to appreciate it (to think i even took english lit in A lvls..zz.) the last book i read was wuthering heights and i took an extremely long time to read it and it still remains unfinished. exams are like in 11 days more and im still NOT prepared!! eeks. must do well! i dont wan to waste another 1k plus to repeat courses.

oh btw, the books i borrowed are law related and i feel like a nerd now. thanks.

ugly chrysa

2007-04-12T01:53:00.000+08:00

my complexion's getting worse. zits r popping out n alot of weird looking spots..zz..serves me right for not turning in early.it's getting habitual for me to sleep later n later in the wee hours of the morning.or maybe it's the change of facial cleanser i use..my skin seems to be well adapted to clean n clear brand n not others..dats bad right? i tried using olay n neutrogena nothing seems to work..gonna seek professional help soon.which kind of sucks. cause it means outflow of $$. and apparently your body system rejuvenates itself at its best during 11pm to 1am. thats exactly y everybody keeps reminding you to sleep early..i think the last time i actually commit myself to sleep at 11 evry night was probably during sec sch. (eons ago when i had to report to sch at 7:20!!!!)

this week so far sucks literally. mum n dad are away.(which is good n bad at the same time..zz..)had to tend to the shop evryday..staring either into blank space or bloody boring notes.zz. far east resembles a zombie town nowadays. the shoppers there is like the probability of you finding homo sapiens on jupiter.and not leaving out the ardous journey back home on 190.sigh.lucky i have my SISTA with me :) she tickles me at times n i feel bad for scolding her a couple of days ago cause of her stupidity.she cried. :( sorry sis.but you were really stupid n you know why..bleh.not forgetting carol n ilyas's surprise visit today as well as sharann's ytd. at least seeing you all made my day really an inch less dull.

well on top of that i think i need to have a healthy lifestyle again.i went to my uncle's place last sat and his was a semi-D..cant believe i was panting my way up the stairs. sleep early chrys! and eat well..and ok i will try. well try. heh. tata.

law

2007-04-06T17:00:00.000+08:00

how exasperating to try to get things started. been staring at my law assignment for the past 2 hours and yet nothing constructive has been achieved. something bad has happen to me and it's just so difficult to pretend nothing has happened. been listening to alot of music recently..hoping to escape from all these shit (yes..escapism at work again...) we noe music does wonders.. ok back to law..sigh.

my bad

2007-03-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

i admit im a loser.

friends

2007-03-25T02:11:00.000+08:00

i wonder whether people really do make friends on FRIENDster..it's so ironic that the website's created to let people know more people and yet im choosing to add only people ive already known. even more annoying is the msges i received..from lonesome old bald guys or the "desporados" in short.. stop hiding behind the freaking monitor sending lewd msges and get some life baldies!

i feel sorry for those short of hair but these bald minorities who scroll thru every friendster profile in search of their potential mates really puts me off...zzzz...

on the lighter note, im so glad i met with my band mates on friday. still some things nv change isnt it? :)

drained.dreams.

2007-03-21T23:56:00.000+08:00

extremely drained out. so much going on that keeps me out of the edge of relaxing my spirit. and ive been dreaming alot recently. bout random scary things like i'll dream who i'll meet that day (and it actually happens w/o planning), being trapped in a dark room me frantically searching for an exit but always there seem to be no door at all. And my dreams always revolve round the same place. like in my dream the school is empty and deserted with huge lecture theater that when u sit at the extreme back, the lecturer is only a midget. in my dream there's a huge tower with no doors (i have no idea how i land myself inside the tower when there's no door in the first place...) and in the tower there is nothing but staircases. no matter how hard i try to climb up and down the tower there is simply no way out. The garden in my dreamland is colourless. well greyish to be exact. and once i dreamt a bomb exploded at the colourless garden and strangely nothing was destroyed. and i bet people dream of toilets and had thoughts of relieving themselves (thus leading to bed-wetting.. -.-) The toilets in my dream are extremely huge yet again. with many cubicles. and funnily my toilets are without gender separation. it's a big common toilet with guys area alongside girl's area. the toilet floors are super dry, lights will be flickering, there'll be no one in the toilet although it's so dam freaking big. and as usual the eerie atmosphere sets in whenever i try to relieve myself. like imagining a hand will pop out of the toilet bowl the taps running by itself.

i guess that's what you get when you do not get enough sleep and even in your dreams you are not even given a chance to rest as well. hope fully i can stop wandering in my dreams and that if i do i will meet more people since im always alone in my dreamland. scary scary dreamland.

too many ramblings here. pardon me.

let down

2007-03-09T00:19:00.001+08:00

i think im gg to let down some ppl really soon :(

sorry if i did..really am..

it's not over

2007-03-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

omg this song is so dam freaking nice. i give it 1001 stars.. haha..

rockers rock.

rediscovery

2007-03-04T22:48:00.000+08:00

i think im strong
i think im powerful

Do you know me?